Eish, dunno how to say this without sounding heartless and selfish, but the truth is, I’m NOT sorry. I totally understand your pain and I feel for you but, at the same time, I’m thankful that I’m not in your position.
Lemme get into it.
Right, Desmond and I have been seeing each other for a while so please take several seats. It started when his aunt, Kiri (yes, the aunt Kiri who pretends to like you and the same one who refers to you as the “world’s best sister in law”) dared me to make a move on him. Actually, she dared me to kiss him. I knew it was going to be easy because Desmond literally spent all afternoon eyeing me up. Without thinking much, and besides, being the outright fearless freak I am, I walked right up to him and french-kissed him in the kitchen..in your house whilst your engagement party was blazing in the backyard. If I’m correct, you were busy dancing to Kanda Bongo Man, completely oblivious to what was going on in the kitchen. Ha ha da, seka hako Dion! He didn’t resist and from that very moment onwards, I knew kuti I had him exactly where I wanted him.
He called me the very next day and from then, it was game on. He called me every hour, told me all kinds of sweet nothings, splashed the moneys (the cash you used to wire him) on ME and treated me like a princess. It was dinner at Miekles twice a week and lunch at Harare’s fanciest restaurants almost every other day. Then shopping for shoes every two weeks. My phone credit was always topped up and my pockets never ran out of money. Public transport became a thing of the past as I became accustomed to getting driven in the Limited Edition Lexus you bought for him. Trust me, I was a treated like a spoilt brat.
For weeks, I kept our relationship a secret. But I couldn’t hold the excitement any longer plus the fact yekuti I couldn’t publicly claim him as mine was killing me. So one night, after a misunderstanding and out of anger, I went to Auntie Kiri’s houses and finally confessed the whole affair to her. She acted like she was the jilted wife and started giving me all sorts of lectures. Hanzi, “How could you, as a woman, do something like that to another woman? It’s not right. Think with your head not pussy” pwetere pwetere. I just looked at her like, seriously bitch?! You started this fire so help me put it out.
Most of my married friends who are women had the same stupid views. I’m like WTF is wrong with these women??? Apparently, there’s some sort of “sisterhood” I’m betraying. Ohh pur-lease! Spare me the bull shit! I don’t believe in some “loyalty or sistahood” type of shit we all “owe each other as women”. Label me selfish but I only believe kuti I owe it to MYSELF, Dion, to fall in love and stay in love for as long as is humanly possible, and if it means kuti I’m falling for a married man, then so be it! To be blunt, if that married man is called Desmond, then It’s Desmond I’m going to fall in love with! I wish someone else, in some other circumstances, had said it, but I actually agree with what the king Sugar Dick Dupree once said to justify fucking his distant cousin. “The pussy wants what the pussy wants.”
Do you recall New Year’s eve 2017? Hanti he was late to the party you had organised at his mum’s house? Guess what had happened? I fucked his brains out! Yep, we were at it like wild rabbits! I squirted all over his dick, his chest and he even had his tongue up in my pussy. At one point, I rode his face! The expensive headboard you go on and on about banged hard against the wall. We had the whole bedroom vibrating. Eish, Olinda, you should have been there to witness the whole thing. It was wild, rough and hard.
I wore him out and I deliberately didn’t wake him up when he fell asleep afterwards so he’d spend the entire night in my bed. When I say “my bed”, I mean YOUR BEDROOM. Yes, in those very expensive Egyptian cotton sheets you brag about in your Facebook Live videos! I made sure (you honestly DON’T want to know how) kuti he stayed over far longer than he intended to. He woke up later, to me giving him one heck of a sloppy blowjob, and had to rush to your party at 2:30 a.m. without showering first. I am 1 gazillion percent sure kuti he must have reeked of my scent when he walked in at the party. I call it scent marking. I took pleasure in knowing that. I hope you didn’t kiss him when he got there because I rode his face and squirted all over his cheeks! In fact, at one point, I pulled the back of his head pressed my pussy against his mouth and came in his mouth!
Yaah! That’s how I roll.
It’s been two days now since Desmond broke up with me because of your Facebook Live drama. But trust me, he didn’t do it for you, or to save what’s left of your “marriage”. He did it because OUR relationship had reached a point yekuti it was causing me more pain than it was bringing me joy. He knew how much it hurt me every time he kissed me goodbye to come home to you. Cheating on you, he could easily live with but hurting me, his sweetheart, NEVER.. he couldn’t bear it.
You hate me, I know, and you always will, but quite frankly, I don’t care. Not a single ounce of care! But sometimes I wish we could talk. I wish we could sit somewhere quiet, maybe ku Harare Gardens, and I could explain to you why we did what we did. If we could do that, if you and I could get drunk together, there’s one heck of a story I’d want to tell you. Iyoyo inosekesa even mbavha yakahwanda!
I think we have to be honest with each other, Olinda. Desmond loves us both and I think you should give him some time to think of his next move, instead of acting like a little spoilt brat. Stop it with these humiliating Facebook Live broadcasts and allow him to make a decision without pressure. I swear one more mention of my name in your videos and I will make sure kuti he won’t come back to you! Besides, you should be thankful kuti I’m keeping him in check whilst you are way over there in UK, instead of bring an ungrateful bitch. Behave like a grown woman. Desmond needs someone to monitor him and that’s MY primary duty. You, iwewe wena, focus on sending money and goods chete.
Keep in mind kuti YOU are the other woman in this relationship. Don’t make me remind you.
Anyhoo, with that said, I think you and me can make a good team. Let’s work together in keeping our man because I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to stay, and yes, I will also have another guy on the side.
Anyway, Im prepared for us to work together and reach a solution. Maybe I should draw up a rota system? You can have him on certain days and I have him on certain days. That way, we won’t have to worry about where he is, what he is up to and who he is speaking to.
What do you think??? 😏😘😘😘
Your Girlfriend In Law
via The Svirosist!
Sugar Dick Dupree