Author : Adina
Publishers : Svirorist!
All Rights Reserved. Do NOT copy without obtaining prior permission from the author and publishers. 2013
Marriages are created in heaven .
It is God in his infinite wisdom who said -;”the two shall be one ” and blessed the first marriage then consecrated it so what he joins no one has the right to put asunder.Having said this ……,
A good marriage is made by you …!
I’ve concluded it is illegal for some people to be married the simple reason being they lack the gene that identifies with marriage .That one that allows you to compromise with your spouse or allow them to be human and allow people to err .Some people just lack human compassion and will not tolerate anyone else within their sphere of influence .They missed on the lessons of marriage that life teaches free of charge just by observation yes you learn a thing or two just by watching other married people how they interact how they compromise and even how they fight ….And make up.
The truth of the matter is no marriage counselling session makes you a good wife or good husband it has to come from within you .You have to believe in it . You’ve got to want to commit fully .
You have got to want it to work by all means within your abilities .
It takes a mentally ready woman to appreciate a good man and similarly a mentally ready man to appreciate a good woman .
If someone is not well prepared for marriage it will fail because of fundamental complications .every thing will go wrong and they will find fault with everything including the way they talk the way they walk and even breathe.____they feel suffocated _____they feel their private space invaded…
They simply don’t get or understand the concept of sharing a life with someone else and the full implications and responsibilities that come with it .
They fail to grasp the concept of two becoming one and a man shall leave his family and cleave to thy wife -as the Word of God says .You can never be happily married when still cleaving to your family.You can’t serve two masters and physically you can’t be in two places .
They try so hard to remain independent within the marriage __but tell you what sweetie _it won’t work especially this side of the Equator .Sadly these people will not last the first five years and YES sadly it always ends in divorce .
If children are involved they end as sacrificial lambs acting as insurance for one partner’s comforts or both if both parents are selfish .
Looking forward to a happy marriage you have to lose self and become us .Cleave to your partner.You still remain an individual but you gotta have shared interests .
This is easy in theory but harder in practice because most people believe you have to be selfish to survive .
I can assure you that it’s possible to run a marriage as one entity than as two different people .
And the irony is it gets easier with practice it’s not easy at first .
Marriage is not a hobby or something you do when you enter a certain age and please don’t get married coz all your friends are ,or your mother asked you to get married .Get married because you have this gut instinct to commit and you feel you have someone you are compatible with or you can at least love ..
First things first you don’t enter marriage planning an exit package .
And you don’t enter marriage on a trial basis …it’s for life .
Do not marry for certain gains …fate has a funny way of levelling scores .
They may lose what you were eyeing .
Or they may be a step ahead of you and have all their investments carefully guarded from predators like you .
In an African setting and it doesn’t matter where you live how rich you are or your father ….the wife cooks the wife cleans and the wife is the housekeeper and the homemaker….
The husband takes care of the bills …
I understand in recent years there has been role reversal because of economic reasons but the key point is love doesn’t come with a manual every one should know their place.Every husband should know how his wife cooks .
Compromises are done amicably and lovingly with no one using money to be the OPPRESSOR ____slavery was abolished 100 years ago .
Small cock ..can’t fuck ..smelly feet ..strong body odour … she cant cook ..she cant dress .,are all things that can be fixed in a day and with tolerance and patience .Or if it cant be fixed a compromise can be reached always.Dirty socks. Toothpaste caps. Toilet seat …..all the silly annoying habits Our little habits that make our spouses crazy. But no two people are ever truly compatible, so quit nitpicking each other, the moment you choose to be less selfish you will realise you are not even near perfect yourself and suddenly their faults become nothing …or less irritating .,relationship expert Dupree advises Save the battles for the big issues — and you’ll have a happy marriage.Some things are not worth fighting over .
Marriage Is The Ultimate Gamble or risk.Sometimes, marriage leads to happily ever after. Sometimes, it is hell. All is fair in love and war.
If it doesn’t, work as u planned or anticipated hold your head high
dust your feet, learn
from past mistakes, and start painting a brighter future without giving in to society’s rules and regulations .
You only have one life .yes although we don’t encourage it and don’t want to talk about it ….some marriages are hell …!
Long-lasting, happy marriages have more than great communication,they have the X factor and it’s the X factor that makes her look in his ugly face and see the most beautiful man she married Dupree says.
The X factor is that which makes her push on regardless… “Dr.Dupree brings up something interesting something no one ever talks about — that irreconcilable differences are a normal part of life ,,love and marriage that you just have to come to terms with them, not try to resolve the unresolvable. On some level, that should have been obvious, but it hasn’t been,”He is too short or she is not charismatic enough ?or he is too loud ?? Purleeze !! he hasn’t killed anyone he is just being himself .
He can’t dress ..or he shud dress like Ashley Banjo …do u kill him coz he can’t dress ? Dress him he is yours for heavens sake …stop publishing the faults of the love of your life to the world instead cover them cover their faults their weaknesses and mind you you are a team you fight together not with each other you win together never against each other and you celebrate together against the world .Its the world which destroys you if you allow the world to enter your marriage .
Good example Beyonce and Jay Zee
Have managed to keep the world out of their marriage and life what with all their celebrity status .
So you stand a better chance sweetie
Keep them out ..
Your family friends and significant others become the world they are outsiders let them come as visitors don’t let them into your marriage .
Do not ask people to do Olympic-style gymnastics when they can hardly crawl.’ Many people will fail
Instead try to buy the nice and trendy clothes for him note … Try coz it won’t always work …communication and diplomacy is key here ..
Don’t be harsh or commanding
Instead, you must be nice to your partner, research shows.
Make small gestures, but make them often. “The little things matter,” says Dupree. “What a happy marriage is based on ___is deep friendship, knowing each other well, having mutual respect, knowing when it makes sense to try to work out an issue, and when it is not solvable. Many kinds of issues simply aren’t solvable.”
Someone snores ___buy ear plugs __ don’t laugh honestly do you divorce on the grounds of snoring ,??you find a way round it .
The importance of sex needs to be emphasised here .Sex is the backbone of marriage create a sexual menu that suits both of you .Kinky sex …Oral sex etc is good for a marriage it breaks routine and monotony …!Think about it !!
Make yourself physically and mentally available to your partner .if you are married you are entitled to sex on demand unless there is an ailment .Be spontaneous be creative let the bedroom be a haven not dull or smelly .
Dull curtains and decor is for hospitals
Keep your bedroom exciting matching linen and curtains ..let it be a boudoir …
Keep fit exercise and stay attractive for your partner .no belle pot bellys are a no no no …perfume is a must and bath ….bath pliz twice a day ..
Change sexual positions every week or at least regularly ….kiss regularly many times a day as often as possible..
Maintain romance breakfast in bed is a good idea always for either partner .
Keep each other interested in life be the thermostat of your partner …
Kiss and make up after a fight good couples don’t keep grudges .
Go away without the kids once in a while and celebrate your love never miss important dates anniversaries birthdays Xmas etc
Keep dating each other even within the marriage so that you keep the flame alive .
The Prayer of serenity always helps here __””wisdom to change the things I can ;;grace to accept those I can’t and wisdom to know which is which “”
Learn how to identify issues that must be resolved, those that can be “fruitfully discussed,” Dr Dupree notes…”Learn to live with the rest. Just put up with it. All you do is waste your breath and get angry over these things that can’t be changed. You’re better off not trying to change them. Work around them. Commit to staying together, even though this is something difficult and taxing .,
Even for non Christians the morale here is there will definitely be stuff u gotta accept as is and can’t change ...
Marriage is an asset …an investment worth setting up for your senile years..
The dividends pay off when you age gracefully together ;
when you watch the kids graduate and start their own lives together ;
when you dont need to put out an act to stay young because you have been there together ;
When you massage each others feet and wail in pain of old age …together ;
When you cry together because you have entwined into each other so much;
When you stand at your children’s wedding and know deep down you set a good example …showed them how its done that it is not easy but can be done !
When you look back and travel in time and count your losses ,your grace ,your gains ,your victories and your near misses and say Darling we made it …!!
When all is said and done Marriage Is more fun than any adrenaline rush of a one night stand or any game of sex
God the Creator created marriage so the union is sanctified.
but if u think its not fun and not easy try the other life ..which is errr,,-not easy at all.
Actually bwaaa!!ha !!ha. !!Ha. !! Haaaa !!___the other side is called forever single and looking for a date and its a sad and lonely life to say the least …a lonely journey to nowhere you just end up lonely because let’s face it one day you will be too lonely and too old to date …
Why take this route ???
Well especially since you have an option for an eternal date all you need is tolerance and a big heart .
Now take the plunge .
Gud luck and God bless!