Letter to Bighouse

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Author: Adina Shebeen
Publishers: Svirorist!
Copyright Protected 2013.
Based on a true story

Dear Big House

I am writing this letter to clarify a few issues you seem to misunderstand
I do not represent competition I compliment you .
Mother.. Firstly,I respect the institution and sanctity of marriage, but as your husband’s girlfriend, this is my point of view..
I met your husband in Edgar’s Store
just like you would interact and mingle at work in the street or even in church. I didn’t know from the onset that the man was married because a lot of the time, these men do not Disclose their marital status or come with a name tag written” Unavailable” All the time I saw him, he was alone and there was not even a trace of you in the car wonder why a taken man is allowed so much free time and then you cry foul when he is stolen or in this case rented.

My duties in this relationship is to give him a much needed holiday and respite
A break from you and your noisy bambinos …yes marriage is a tiresome job i think you agree with me and so are bills, school fees ..your constant nagging and your mother who is always kumba kwemkwasha kusanyara kwavo.

This is where he de-stresses. I know my place, trust me i do. I keep quiet when you call ndinaye and Im trained to disappear patinodhumana tiri tese .
I get a tired dehydrated old looking man and send you a well rejuvenated man. …. SEXIFIED!

THANK ME, DON’T DISRESPECT ME FOR IT!

I work so damn hard to achieve that level of excellence that you see in him.
Starting off with sensual massages and hypnotherapy to take off all stress
Then he goes into a warm scented bath with lavender and sea salts and chamomile to relax his mind.
Next follows foot massage and pedicure for total grooming.
Then live hot sex to calm his nerves and revitalise his system .

You have harassed me on occasions and called me a money mongering bitch but let me tell you that every cent he spends on me I pay for it with my sweat and blood .My chikapa skills make him wail like a baby .
Swearing at me won’t
change the fact that he grips my
headboard when he hits my pussy
and screams my name Adina …like a baby I bet that’s something you probably don’t even
know about the man you married. You
don’t know the effort we put behind
our little affair just to keep
your fat ass happy and secure. Trust
me, the more you come after me, the more he wants me. The more
money he spends on me, the more
intense our sessions get.

A true imbaduku seni Adina will never ask him to leave you. Instead, I encourage-him to stay with you even if you’ve messed up ….now that you have gained three times the weight that he fell in love with and look like a cross between a pig and a hippo.Saka, parker-i ma steady and relax, your kids are priority number one, Saka you see, YOU NEED US. We are helping YOU. Consider yourself
lucky when you find my number, at
least you know he’s taken care of when you’re on your menses ..and
he’s gonna come right back once we’ve
finished refurbishing my flat.

Oh, and trust me, i do the fighting for us. It’s my duty to ensure kuti hakuna rimwe hure richauya so you are guaranteed if he is not there he is here . Any other bitch will be dealt with severely and mercilessly by me..ZANU PF style.. saka don’t ruin your manicure. I get a weekly one so it’s. okay, let me do it. I respect you hence
i stay away from family functions and i make sure kuti i take all my stuff with me out of his car. I don’t call after him at home i know its your turn and respect it .I respect family time .
Look ndine twunhu twangu…the rest is just a bonus for having a sharing attitude. I’m a professional with a good career and earn enough. My advice to you is: Stay in your Marriage .Don’t pack your stuff and run off to tell your mum about how you failed at being a wife..It just makes you look stupid and weak. Our man needs a strong woman around him.Look after your kids, tend to your
home and cook those delicious meals you’re so famous for. I can’t do that
with these nails. Don’t ask about me.

He’s just going to lie and toss and turn all night thinking about me in my Victoria Secret sets he bought me for Valentines Day. Ini let me be, i’ll leave him on my own accord
one day. If you don’t, we might just
trade places and soon you’re going to be. saying, “akadyiswa chete” or accuse me of consulting Madzibaba Sugar Dick Dupree or Papa Makandinzwa or even a n’anga .I don’t.
I’d rather spend that money on holiday.

Truth is, Adina makes him feel good. I’m a reminder of when he was young plus i do all the things you’re afraid to do..or just won’t do because you believe you’re past that. For example I give him that much needed blowjob .I taught him about the internet and marketing his business online You should see him when he is with me he becomes twenty again i make his blood rush .I also go to the gym every day so I’m forever young and look yummy .
I compliment him, you suit him,
trust me, there’s a world of difference I
respect marriage and all it stands for,
that’s why i’m doing my part in keeping yours together. So don’t think
I don’t. Don’t cry over me
and what we do,dont compete hamundibate I represent youth you remind him of his past and anyway mungapedze Mari mega here mother ??let it be. Play your part and i’ll do what i’m supposed to do.

Your Man’s Smallhouse aka Mainini

Icho!

Sviroristess

Adina Shebeen

 

 

 

15 thoughts on “Letter to Bighouse

    • We are writers and our stories are a reflection of daily life in Zimbabwe
      These stories do not reflect our views or actions .

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