In defence of Tin Tin -;-
I’m sure most of us have seen the Tinopona Katsande’s sex tape and most -if not all of us- have concluded that it was pretty rubbish. Which is fact -However, some -if not all- are blaming Tinopona. Hanzi “haagone kutambisa chikapa/Akanyadzisa/she should have made noise” etc etc. They are blaming her for inaction and accuse her of being boring in the bedroom. Some have even said that she should attend sex classes ku Chinamwari to learn how to use her waist.
But wait -!
Me being Sugar Dick Dupree, I see things differently. I believe the blame should lie squarely and firmly on the pathetic excuse of a boyfriend or whoever she was fucking in the tape!
That man looked like a vagina apprentice …more like I’m sure this is not the way it’s done …I need guidance
– Its a man’s duty to bring out the whore in his woman in the bedroom!
Its a mans duty to fuck / svira your woman …!
There is no question about this!
Ibasa rako as a man to take charge, be in control, create the mood and set the tempo.
Sex isn’t about boom bang boom, its more to do with COMMUNICATION! Its about the communication between two bodies. Kana pasina any communication, then there won’t be any connection.
No connection = rubbish sex.
This is what we witnessed in Tino’s sex tape. The boyfriend was completely useless.
– He was too quiet.
– He was too stiff.
– He was too cold.
– He was too slow.
– He was too lethargic.
– He appeared completely disconnected to the whole thing.
– His dick kept popping out.
– He didn’t know what to do with his dick.
– The mood was dull.
– He lacked passion.
Maybe he was tired. Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he just wasn’t feeling Tino anymore. Maybe he had fucked her brains out earlier before they started recording but the undeniable fact is, HE IS TO BLAME FOR WASTING 4 MINUTES OF TINO’S PUSSY’S TIME!
HE WAS RUBBISH IN BED!
Surely, one cannot expect Tino to move her waist, make noise, pull the bed linen and squirm in pleasure under such circumstances.
I’m angry that this boyfriend of hers has completely destroyed the reputation that I, #SugarDickDupree have been carving out for Zimbabwean men over the past few years. I have been busy cultivating a “Zimbabwean men can fuck” image all across Africa and this fool here completely destroyed that reputation in just four minutes of sexual stupidity. I’m angry!
Now we have become the subject of ridicule in bars and beerhalls all across Africa. You even have guys from Botswana saying they can fuck better than us! WTF?! Even our women are saying “Ndosaka tichienda kuma Nigerian”.
Surely, this is the greatest crime committed by one of us, no? Can’t we charge this guy for treason and have him barred from possessing any recording equipment?
His FOUR minutes of sexual stupidity shamed us all.