Written by Adina
Unfortunately, there isn’t a foolproof litmus test, women are complex .
This is official and I’m qualified to say it ,I’m a woman I had to convince myself that I was gonna bash my side just as a once off .
It’s not easy to tell by listening to her or looking at her dress sense because she can tell you something else and mean something completely opposite or the week after the same statement may mean something else ,women are just like that at times.
You need to be off the infatuation stage because then every thing is clouded by lust.After the first six months at least then you will know. “The one “will come into your life crawl into the hole you live in and fit perfectly and your life gets an instant upgrade.She will make you feel the sun .
She will make you happy !
She will make you smile and you will ask yourself where the hell she was all this time….oh you will be loved.
Without lifting a finger she will give you wings to fly to beat your deadlines to beat your silly habits to be -The Man
She will love you for the man you are so no need to pretend to be superman or to exaggerate your status.
When you meet the one ( the anointed one ) The relationship goes smoothly from the start.You meet, you get along superfantabulously , you start dating, and then you get married. In contrast, other couples get on and break up and get back numerous times. They fight and then make up and then fight again. I’m not saying that men in such volatile relationships should not commit . But hey Ho!the volatility will continue into the marriage. Whether that volatility is acceptable is up to each individual man and their idea of how a relationship should run.
You have a whirlwind life of boyhood humping and dumping them like chewing gums .. you entered manhood and told yourself settling down is for the weak real niggas do the deed and run . After all women can’t be trusted they are difficult they are all the same and you just don’t understand them …but before you know it .You meet this girl let’s call her Tina ,you start spending more and more time with Tina and the more time you spend with her you find she is different .Not just different ,for the first time in your life you have a girl who is not after your money.Who is not into this club or that club .
And heyy -Tina can cook too.
It was actually Tina’s idea that instead of eating out you cook a meal and save some dosh.Tina cooks the best food you have had in years.
Tina sort of knows your weaknesses or most of them and prevents disaster before it happens ,like a guardian angel.She subtly suggests instead of spending too much money on buying stuff you will never use how about starting a savings challenge .
“Every time you wanna buy a gadget think …is it a save or a spend “?
And for the first time in your life you actually live within your means.
She encourages you to buy a kettle than buy tea from cafés .ummh Tina?
Tina meets your boys and she gels in .
Not in a flirty way …..
But in a heyy ..Joe ,Ral and Matt I’ve fixed some popcorn ,will leave you guys to your boy deeds lemme do my girly stuff..” It’s Tina being Tina .
She actually likes your friends and is encouraging you to be with them because she does not see them as competition.Your boys are lyk “heyy does she have a sis” ??
You start opening up about your life the good ,the ugly and the ridiculous . You tell her how your dad ran away with another woman and your mum raised you on her own .
You tell her about your eternally drunk uncle Joe who is the family delinquent .
And yes you want her to meet your dysfunctional family .She agrees.
Tina instantly becomes your mums confidante she gets shown family heirlooms.
Drunk Uncle Joe walks in and the world freezes because every one braces for drama .
Uncle Joe hugs the visitor and falls over her in the ensuing confusion and commotion Tina manages to emerge from under Uncle Joe unscathed laughing and Well every one joins in the laughter whew! u exhale ….Tina rises to the occasion again .
Tina later goes to freshen her face and rearrange her hair.She is a hit with everyone.
Tina’s ex boyfriend calls her in your presence and she does not smile or make conversation.In curt tones she tells him to get lost in one line .
You feel relieved.
And then you actually realise you haven’t called your ex Linda in a while .Wonder if she was all that .
You get wrangled when others say negatives about her and rush to her defence.
Whether it’s your friends, family or some stranger, you get irritated when people say mean things about Tina.
You can spend hours just lookin at her
The chemistry is phenomenal you always have a boner now .
Her bedroom ethics are ok ..she knows when it’s time to play .And yes she wants you and shows it .
She makes you happy .
You ask yourself where she has been all your life….you miss her every day and want to talk to her all the time.
You now trust her with major tasks and you know she has your interests at heart .
She explains her every move and always says she is where she is .
Tried and tested .
Note **trusting blindly is dangerous .
While you are bathing Tina sees a text from a lady on your phone .”miss u ” and it upsets her big style but
She asks you to explain ..
You look at the text and explain it’s Rals girl Sheila and you are yet to
Introduce them .Tina asks you to call Ral and arrange for you guys to meet .
Thirty minutes later Tina over the text issue ….is commando, wearing your shirt and making some food …while Tina will check out this girl and is no fool she is No drama Queen .
You do fight and quarrel like any normal couple .But when you do, you do your best to fight fair….no name calling or cursing .You admit when you’re wrong, you listen to each other, you acknowledge one another’s good points, and you apologize when you cross lines.
Tina knows you take care of your family and does not grumble she even offers ideas of how it can be done more effectively .
Yes because us being Abantu we have the whole village to look after we carry it on our backs and your significant other should understand this right from word go no matter her race , culture ,creed or religion.
If you come from where I come from the man is the head …Tina understands submission the word ;the definition ;the synonyms and how to use it in real life .
Tina gets to know that whilst you love her so much you are doing your Masters and can’t then marry now .
She is willing to wait and has decided to do a cake making course whilst waiting .
You envision yourself married to her with three kids .While this thought would have made you bowl over and puke years ago, it now brings a smile to your face.Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it’s about finding the person you can’t live without.” When you find that woman, you can be sure she’s the one.
Well this is how the one is identified someone who fits like a glove … trouble is they don’t come with a name tag…when your own Tina comes you will know she may not be the prettiest girl but she will make you happy .
To the love you deserve !