Something Different

The Big Bad Sugar Dick Dupree.

Here are one or two common lies married men tell their (small houses) girlfriends. By the way, ladies, Im not married nor do I have any kids..saka this article isn’t talking about me. I just put myself in a married man’s shoes for this article..

Oh my days, I’ve forgotten what I was going to write about. Oh yeah, married men and their lies..

• Lie numero uno (Numero Uno means Number One by the way..lol)

I Dont Love My Wife.

I will tell you kuti, “We are going through a hard time and I will soon be leaving that lazy cow bla bla bla”…

Ha ha da, seka hako Sugar Dick Dupree! That’s a blatant LIE sweetie. Dont fall for it. Either run for the hills if Im still trying to chat you up or END IT ASAP if you are already dating me. This is probably the most used lie and women seem to fall for it EVERY TIME!

Women need to understand kuti us guys don’t broadcast leaving home to the other woman..Well, some do but most don’t. If I’m really in a bad relationship, I will just leave and find a place to go. This is the type of conversation I have with my wife, not you, but this is the line where I get you hooked like a fish, because you stupidly and truly do believe that this is going to happen. Bwa ha ha ha! Let me laugh hangu.

WARNING/GEVAAR/HOKOYO/DANGER!

Don’t fall for it, sweetie. The best thing to do is to wait until I actually does it.. Bwa ha ha ha, hanzi “wait until I actually does it..when its supposed to be wait until I do it”.. Where was I? Oh yeah, wait until I do it and then start dating me.. I tell you, you will be in for a long, long wait.. It will never happen. I will give you excuse after excuse as to why its taking ages to dump my “lazy wife”. I will tell you kuti, “there are a lot of things we need to figure out financially because I have BIG MONEYS and that lazy bitch wants all of it bla bla bla”.

Yeah right!

What I am truly telling you is that I’m not prepared to leave her OR I don’t want to leave her because there is a lot to lose money wise. I mean put yourself in my shoes, would you leave?? Of course not. Kuti ndinopenga here? Im not crazy.

• When you start to ask me too many questions, doubting me and I start to feel kuti you are pulling away from me, I will come up with another lie. I will tell you kuti, “sweetie, I will be leaving her in a few months, very very soon….dont worry, we will be together baby”..

Once again, this is yet another lie. Ask yourself, if I truly wanted to leave her, I would have done it ages ago. Why-o-why would I need to wait for a certain date to pass? The pain I will cause my family is the same in March as it will be in November!

DON’T FALL FOR IT! You will just keep getting emotionally involved. But then its hard not to, because as a married man, I know exactly what women want and and want to hear. I will do everything for you baby. I will treat you like a queen and make you think kuti my world revolves around you.

• Last lie. Well, I couldn’t think of anymore to be honest..

DO NOT FALL FOR THIS LIE when I tell you kuti, “Im only in it for the kids”. This is yet another lie. Cheating husbands are rarely at home and they hardly ever spend time with their kids. Never fall for this. I don’t get how women don’t see through this lie? You are with me pretty much all the time except when I’m at work, which means I’m barely home. How then can I claim kuti I’m only sticking around for the kids when I don’t even spend time AND money on them?? Besides, men who really leave their wives rarely take kids into account. It wouldn’t make a difference if I saw them every weekend. I hardly seem them now!

Wake up sweetie, and smell the coffee.. I’ve run out of things to say so Im going to just say…

Icho!

Svirorist!

S Double Dee

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